In May-June I had a trip to the south of Italy. My first solo trip. I found that travelling on your own is terrific. While my first choice would have been to share my discoveries with my husband, travelling on your own gives you great liberty and ease with whatever presents itself.  To be honest when I thought of my husband it was not as much to share the experience with him in person, the trip would have been quite different, but rather, I really wanted to tell him all about it as he would have understood exactly what I was trying to convey and what it cost me to take the steps I took.  Or even, having been on my own, I would have liked to go back with him to show him what I found – so I still wanted to have that time alone. So I guess there has been some processing of my changed circumstance (loss of husband to cancer in 2013).

NB . I do not intend to talk of family and friends in this blog other than in an oblique way. To do otherwise would be too invasive.

But more about what I discovered.

J’ai appris que le trajet est beaucoup plus simple seul. Si il y des contretemps ce n’est pas grave, ça fait toute partie de l’Aventure. Des voisins d’avion malodorant, du personnel zélé, des recherches pour juste le bon restaurant, c’est des histoires, des souvenirs plutôt que des inquiétudes pour l’autre.  Je suis certaine que tous ont fait des recherches dans une nouvelle ville pour le resto  parfait qui a donné des discussions semblables, je suis persuadée que ça ne s’applique pas juste à nous, du moins je l’espère. On vient d’arriver dans une ville après 20 heures en transit et un court repos …  « qu’en penses-tu? » «  Ché pas si j’ai assez faim pour ça. Celui-là serait peut-être mieux? » «  Ouin mais il y a une file s’attente  et j’ai trop faim »  ou « il n’y a personne ça doit pas être très bon » ou encore  « je veux gouter à la spécialité »  ou «  j’ai vu une référence dans une revue pour un resto qui devrait-être tout près d’ici, juste autour du prochain coin…, non l’autre coin… » « oh il est fermé! » etc.  Si on est seul et on reste sur notre faim c’est juste de notre faute – donc on ne peut pas se plaindre (ni faire le martyre, sans audience ca ne vaux pas la peine)! De toute façon on a toujours cette palette de chocolat d’urgence au cas où. Attention, j’adorais voyager avec mon conjoint et avec mon conjoint et mon fils mais à certain moment les décisions étaient compliquées.  De façon générale on était plutôt,  les deux, ou les trois, trop  accommodant.

Travelling alone, forces you to push yourself, take chances, get out there and be open to/for discoveries.  Walking in a new city alone, this time Bari and Matera, I did what we seldom did together (except in Paris – once we became quite familiar with the city)  I walked without a map and without a specific destination other than, towards the beach, in the old quarter or in the ‘new’ town.  And it was terrific!  Finding treasured spots is even more special if not planned.  It varied from: an hour long discussion to buy glass frames (I great buy on a trip, unique and less expensive than in Canada and small to carry. The young man did not speak French or English and I do not speak Italian but we were both satisfied with the proceedings and the successful outcome.  Might not have been the case had he been busy but as luck would have it we were uninterrupted during the entire event); sheltering in a cave during a thunderstorm in Matera; or, finding fishermen slamming the octopus on the pavement to tenderize it.  It was a lot of unexpected neighborhoods, scenes, and terrific photos.  So definitely would travel on my own again.

But, and this was an important and unexpected discovery, I also learned that travelling with a group can have many advantages.  The beginning and the end of my trip were solo but the 10 days in between were dedicated to a most amazing experience.  I will permit myself a plug here (and if you go tell them Andrée sent you).  Messors (messors.com) I believe started with an emphasis on art restauration workshops (one day I would like to join one of those) but has been adding different opportunities to discover the wonderful Mezzogiornio (south of Italy, in our case mainly Puglia, Basilicata and a great escape to Campania).  It was a 10 day Culinary and Shepherding workshop.  The days were so full of brilliant experiences, tastes, discoveries it is hard to order my thoughts and memories. Most of the activities (I will let you discover them on their website if you are interested) could never be reproduced if travelling on your own.  It was the dream holiday were others were there to organize your time, set out meals and picnics – in one spectacular case in the middle of a bridge in Gravina, driving your around, swimming etc.  We also met the shepherd, had a hands-on master class on cheese making in a centuries old hut.  All the staff were brilliant. The other participants though of different backgrounds were all there because of a common interest.  We learnt about food, history…

Best of all, I did what had not done in many years – I laughed, I sang, I danced (I cried too but that was not so unusual – but it was ok).  I rediscovered myself.  It has been hard to maintain this state of mind since my return but just knowing what is possible brings a smile to my lips.

As soon as I figure out how to insert in special categories I will add a photo category with captions.