sorry no photos 😦   (won’t upload) – no internet for much of trip

Well it has been many days since Selva and I began our adventures but honestly there has not been much time to share my experiences.  Actually there has not been enough time for me to assimilate my new endeavor in order to share it with any insight.  So insight be dammed! Here goes.

J’ai à peine dormi la veille de chercher mon nouveau partenaire de voyage. J’étais très excité de finalement voir, si après un an d’attente j’avais fait une sottise ou un bon coup. Déjà je peux constater que j’ai fait un bon coup!    Mais commençons par le commencement.   Je suis allé au marché du vieux port pour m’approvisionner – que de super produits!     Et ensuite un jeune employé de Safari Condo , Daniel, est venue me chercher à l’Auberge de la Place d’armes. Nous nous sommes rendu et j’ai rencontré Selva (pour ceux qui n’ont pas lu avant c’est Bois ou forêt en Italien mais plus que ça c’est pour la Massaria La Selva ou j’ai resté et été bien heureuse en mai-juin) Donc je l’ai trouvé belle mais grosse, attirante mais un peu intimidante (pourquoi elle est au féminin? Je ne sais pas peut-être parce que je ne suis pas prête à avoir un autre homme dans ma vie).  J’ai passé quelques heures à faire le tour avec George, j’ai pris quelques notes (qui maintenant me disent absolument rien) quelques photos et j’ai tenté porter bien attention.  Et je suis parti vers 4 :00 pour camper à quelques kilomètres. Il fallait que je m’amuse à placer toutes les choses que je m’étais posté (quatre boites de choses de camping (vaisselles, ustensiles,  oreillers (oui au pluriel), vêtements appropriés etc) et de revoir les systèmes – il y en a plusieurs.

Placing my stuff in my new friend was fun and felt really good – it was a cinch to drive it out of the lot and to back it into my very first camping space ( Koa campground, St-Nicolas) But I was hungry and tired, awake since 12:30! No lunch, exhausted but exhilarated – I made it! A huge decision, major expense but I felt it was going to be worth it.

I should by listening to the leaders’ French debate but for the last 15 minutes I have been privy to a great tolling of church bells.  I miss that at home – it is a sound I love.  There are also street musicians and people walking and talking outside my Auberge’s windows (the large European style of windows, open wide on this unusually warm end of September day).

This was a day of ‘rest’ before picking up Selva tomorrow. I have been walking since 9 this morning.  I do not know how they can live with so many tourists! Unbelievable,

but for me it is to the bookstores and the few antique shops left!  I have to decide if my talking to strangers is a good thing, a desire to share with fellow man, or a reflection of the need of someone who lives alone and who generally is happy in her own company to ‘get it all out’ of my system.  Today I made one lady cry, taught a museum volunteer about my ancestor who built a house on the museum grounds in the 17th century, made a mother smile when I commented to her child about his dinosaur imitation, engaged a waiter and restaurant manager in a quest for horse steak at another restaurant, any restaurant (sorry to the squeamish but in any case did not find any) transformed a surly antique dealer into a passionate co-collector of wooden spoons who went on a search of a history book to show me a photo of his collection that was featured. By the way, the lady who cried, she sold me a boiled wool scarf, but we got to talking and one thing to another I told her about my big purchase tomorrow, which lead to questions about how safe I felt and how brave I was, which led to me telling her I had driven bigger before my husband died, which lead to living alone as a ‘mature’ lady, her finding of the ‘perfect man ‘ when she least expected it etc.  I did not make her sob but she discretely wiped tears as I was talking.  I could think I am rather pathetic to tell people so much about myself but you know, people are interested in people and like Tiny Tim observed (A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens for the uninitiated) and I paraphrase but if it makes people think and appreciate what they have terrific – in any event it will be a part of their day that will leave a little mark.

The piety of the desperate.

A little aside, I have always said a prayer and lit a candle when I visit churches.  On trips with Don since he became sick we visited even more churches and lit so many candles:  I called it the piety of the desperate. I always enjoyed going to mass in Europe though, we have been in France, Italy, Hungary – it is an interesting measure of a community.  My best mass ever was a very humble service in the most opulent cathedral of Chartres. In any case, the point of this aside is that today I did something that I think I have never done.  When I lit a candle and said my prayer I said it for me, not for the intention of family members which I realized with a start I have done all my live.  Another milestone, of sorts.

Ça y est je suis partie ce matin de la maison à 4 :00.  Je suis un peu anxieuse mais bien.

Donc dans 2 jours j’irai chercher mon propre Selva à moi. Je dois dire que je trouve étrange que tout le monde me dit combien je suis brave de faire cette étape toute seule.  Comme Don dirait :  « c’est tout à fait normal ». Je n’ai pas d’anxiété à conduire seule – le seul aspect c’est la sécurité et j’ai oublié de me procurer un ‘bear spray’. Je compte  trouver  la liberté, la découverte.  Je suis certaine que je vais sentir Don près de moi.  Il m’a manqué beaucoup lorsque je consultais les cartes.  Il adorait cette étape de planifier les trajets et je sais qu’il serait très fier de moi.  À vrai dire c’est parce que je suis une femme que les gens me trouve brave.  Si j’étais un homme il n’y aurait pas de commentaire.

I don’t know if I find it a good thing or bad that people think me brave to drive across the country on my own.  Certainly I will have a great sense of accomplishment as I have never done it – but if my trip to Europe was any indication, being alone was never an issue.  At no time did I not feel safe. Granted I did not walk alone at night in Naples and I did tend to eat in in the evening but nonetheless I always felt safe.  Alone in the woods will be another issue though. We shall see!

As you could see in my previous post I really liked my experience in Italy.  With the group we stayed at Massaria la Selva. It had been a hunting lodge of the Orsini family and since the early 1900s, has been (and remains), a working farm. Albeit, in a building that would put most of our farmhouses to shame. From the outside it was a bit forbidding and grey (but beautiful)but the inside was shining white and comfortable in a way that only a house that has stood for centuries can. Its accumulated furniture, objects, art etc.  all belong and create a seamless whole that just is.  It is surrounded on three sides by fields of wheat – much like our prairies but with an olive grove in the distance and Mediterranean  pines (?) punctuating the landscape.  As soon as we turned in the lane I felt as if I was coming home.  Behind the buildings, a small road turns down into a small valley and wood and  if you follow a path between fields in front of the building you will find another forest area – thus Selva: wood.

Je pense que la traduction de Selva serait bois ou bosquet.  Ayant donc trouvé tant de bonheur en ce lieu en Italie j’ai décidé de nommé mon prochain cadeau Selva.  Je quitte dans quelques jours pour Québec pour chercher mon nouveau VR (RV for you guys) chez Safari Condo.  Je le nomme Selva parce que ce fut un lieu qui m’a apporté beaucoup, le mot veut dire bois, et le véhicule me permettra de m’y rendre. Le bois en Pouilles quoique semblable n’était pas tout à fait pareil, végétations différentes, chants d’oiseaux inconnus, des fleurs, des fines herbes, un mélange du familier et de découvertes. C’est justement ce que je me souhaite.  Je voulais nommer mon futur chien Selva – ça aurait bien fonctionné – mais c’est plus approprier pour un lieu. Un lieu où je me souhaite du bonheur comme j’y ai connu.  Une quête pour quelques moments de grâce.

nb: l’escargot est le symbole de la compagnie ou j’achète mon vr – voilà la raison du choix de photo.

all photos on this blog author’s own (unless otherwise noted) – please do not use – or at least ask me first – I would probably agree if asked

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In May-June I had a trip to the south of Italy. My first solo trip. I found that travelling on your own is terrific. While my first choice would have been to share my discoveries with my husband, travelling on your own gives you great liberty and ease with whatever presents itself.  To be honest when I thought of my husband it was not as much to share the experience with him in person, the trip would have been quite different, but rather, I really wanted to tell him all about it as he would have understood exactly what I was trying to convey and what it cost me to take the steps I took.  Or even, having been on my own, I would have liked to go back with him to show him what I found – so I still wanted to have that time alone. So I guess there has been some processing of my changed circumstance (loss of husband to cancer in 2013).

NB . I do not intend to talk of family and friends in this blog other than in an oblique way. To do otherwise would be too invasive.

But more about what I discovered.

J’ai appris que le trajet est beaucoup plus simple seul. Si il y des contretemps ce n’est pas grave, ça fait toute partie de l’Aventure. Des voisins d’avion malodorant, du personnel zélé, des recherches pour juste le bon restaurant, c’est des histoires, des souvenirs plutôt que des inquiétudes pour l’autre.  Je suis certaine que tous ont fait des recherches dans une nouvelle ville pour le resto  parfait qui a donné des discussions semblables, je suis persuadée que ça ne s’applique pas juste à nous, du moins je l’espère. On vient d’arriver dans une ville après 20 heures en transit et un court repos …  « qu’en penses-tu? » «  Ché pas si j’ai assez faim pour ça. Celui-là serait peut-être mieux? » «  Ouin mais il y a une file s’attente  et j’ai trop faim »  ou « il n’y a personne ça doit pas être très bon » ou encore  « je veux gouter à la spécialité »  ou «  j’ai vu une référence dans une revue pour un resto qui devrait-être tout près d’ici, juste autour du prochain coin…, non l’autre coin… » « oh il est fermé! » etc.  Si on est seul et on reste sur notre faim c’est juste de notre faute – donc on ne peut pas se plaindre (ni faire le martyre, sans audience ca ne vaux pas la peine)! De toute façon on a toujours cette palette de chocolat d’urgence au cas où. Attention, j’adorais voyager avec mon conjoint et avec mon conjoint et mon fils mais à certain moment les décisions étaient compliquées.  De façon générale on était plutôt,  les deux, ou les trois, trop  accommodant.

Travelling alone, forces you to push yourself, take chances, get out there and be open to/for discoveries.  Walking in a new city alone, this time Bari and Matera, I did what we seldom did together (except in Paris – once we became quite familiar with the city)  I walked without a map and without a specific destination other than, towards the beach, in the old quarter or in the ‘new’ town.  And it was terrific!  Finding treasured spots is even more special if not planned.  It varied from: an hour long discussion to buy glass frames (I great buy on a trip, unique and less expensive than in Canada and small to carry. The young man did not speak French or English and I do not speak Italian but we were both satisfied with the proceedings and the successful outcome.  Might not have been the case had he been busy but as luck would have it we were uninterrupted during the entire event); sheltering in a cave during a thunderstorm in Matera; or, finding fishermen slamming the octopus on the pavement to tenderize it.  It was a lot of unexpected neighborhoods, scenes, and terrific photos.  So definitely would travel on my own again.

But, and this was an important and unexpected discovery, I also learned that travelling with a group can have many advantages.  The beginning and the end of my trip were solo but the 10 days in between were dedicated to a most amazing experience.  I will permit myself a plug here (and if you go tell them Andrée sent you).  Messors (messors.com) I believe started with an emphasis on art restauration workshops (one day I would like to join one of those) but has been adding different opportunities to discover the wonderful Mezzogiornio (south of Italy, in our case mainly Puglia, Basilicata and a great escape to Campania).  It was a 10 day Culinary and Shepherding workshop.  The days were so full of brilliant experiences, tastes, discoveries it is hard to order my thoughts and memories. Most of the activities (I will let you discover them on their website if you are interested) could never be reproduced if travelling on your own.  It was the dream holiday were others were there to organize your time, set out meals and picnics – in one spectacular case in the middle of a bridge in Gravina, driving your around, swimming etc.  We also met the shepherd, had a hands-on master class on cheese making in a centuries old hut.  All the staff were brilliant. The other participants though of different backgrounds were all there because of a common interest.  We learnt about food, history…

Best of all, I did what had not done in many years – I laughed, I sang, I danced (I cried too but that was not so unusual – but it was ok).  I rediscovered myself.  It has been hard to maintain this state of mind since my return but just knowing what is possible brings a smile to my lips.

As soon as I figure out how to insert in special categories I will add a photo category with captions.